


Where You Invest Your Love, You Invest Your Life

by mrsmischief



Series: Awake My Soul [2]
Category: The Hollow Crown (2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 18:55:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsmischief/pseuds/mrsmischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry V returns to England. Third part of Awake My Soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where You Invest Your Love, You Invest Your Life

One day, the news finally came. You were working in the castle, as usual, and overheard the court receive the letter. Suddenly, you were unable to move, or even breathe - you had to know what had happened in France. Holding your breath, your heart beating loud as a drum, you waited until they said it. _Victory._ You released your breath in a joyous gasp, your hand flying to your chest, still feeling the frantic beat of your heart. It still hadn't quite grasped what you head already had: _he was alive._

You heard more news later, and the story of the battle in France and how Henry, your Henry, had won it became more and more familiar to you, until you could whisper the words even in your dreams. You could see it all...

_He would return, later that year, with the men of his army. Perhaps he'd take the French princess with him. No, not perhaps, of course he would! She was to be his wife, so you had heard. She would be beautiful, angelic and otherworldly, something your common servant eyes had never yet seen. She would have beautiful, shiny dresses made of the finest fabrics, and her hair would glow in the sun. Her smile would be bright, her face untouched with worry or pain. She would be a perfect queen for Henry._

_And him... He would be different. He would have scars, either visible or hidden. He would look older, more mature. He might even have injuries, a wounded hand now healed but still aching, or a bad leg. Even so, he would be there, he would be back in England, back to you. And he would bring you the news of the victory. Your victory, like he had promised._

_Of course, he could not do that right away. You would wait, patiently, sharing glances filled with longing and desire, until finally, one night, he would be there. He would not ask you to his chambers anymore, not now that he was married; instead, he would come to you. You would open the door, see him there, and for one precious moment all the pain and heartache would be gone, all the days and hours and seconds you had missed would be returned, and you would have him, holding you, smelling your hair like he used to, and kissing your lips..._

Later that year, your wishes became true. He did return, with his army, and with his French queen. You saw him the day he arrived, but you did not manage to say a word to him because you were not alone; but only looking into his eyes again, into those beautiful blue eyes, was enough. You saw the recognition and love flash in his eyes as he looked at you, and you knew. You knew he would come to you.

As you had dreamed, you stayed patient. You saw him every day in the castle, but it took him weeks before he could slip away. During those weeks, you noticed he had indeed changed. Physically, he was quite alright, but his soul... His soul was the damaged one. When he was alone, thinking no one could see him, you saw that the memories still kept him company, the ghosts of the battles past still haunted him. You wanted to hold him, to brush your fingers on his cheek, to give him the love and warmth only you could give. You wanted to heal him.

One night, he finally came to you. You were already in bed, when you heard the light rap at your door. You went to open it, knowing it could only be him. Seeing his face, your eyes brimmed with tears. He smiled at you, looking you up and down for what felt like an eternity, then finally spoke.   
"Have you been well?"   
You nodded, opening the door wider to let him in as you wiped your tears away. When the door was closed, you both could finally be just you again. You and Henry, Henry and you. No kings, no servants, just you. He pulled you in his arms, and kissed your hair.   
"Oh God how I missed you," he said, his voice tight with the repressed emotion. You looked up at him, then reached your hand to touch him, his hair, his face, his neck, unable to believe he was really there. 

"I've missed you, too," you said through your still-flowing tears. He smiled again, and you stayed there, just looking at each other and drinking each other in, unsure of when - if ever - you would have this peace and freedom again.

Then, a quiet noise from the back of the room pulled you back to reality. You took his hand, pulling him forward, and knelt down by the small bed, lifting your son into your arms. He was deep in sleep, but as you handed him to your father, he opened his eyes briefly, blinking up at the man holding him, tears shining in his eyes, too.   
"Our son?" he asked you, his voice a raspy whisper.   
"Yes, our son," you said, smiling and hugging him from the side. The baby, only a bit over one year old, already looked like his father, with that straight nose and determined mouth.

You were almost certain Henry could not let go of him, would not, but finally he sighed and gently placed the now sleeping baby back to his tiny bed. His eyes stayed on his son for a moment longer, but when they turned back to you, you could see your own thoughts in his face: his face was lit up with delight upon seeing the baby, but underneath that there was the solemn knowledge that the truth must always stay hidden, that no one should know it was his son.

"I am so sorry," he whispered, circling his arms around you and leaning down to kiss you gently.  
"Don't be," you replied, "I always knew I could not have it all. I knew, and I have accepted it." He smiled at you sadly, then slowly moved you towards the bed, placing soft kisses on your lips and neck.   
"Can I..?" he asked, suddenly unsure even though your skin should have been his most familiar conquest. You nodded, your fingers twining in his hair as you lay down, and let him have you, for one last night...

*

When you woke up in the morning, he was gone. You weren't surprised, you knew he would be, you knew this was all you could ever have: yearning glances, secret touches, one night of passion and love. This was all you could ever have, and you knew it. You had accepted it years ago, on the first night he bedded you. There was no future for you together. And yet, his words from the night before comforted you as you sat up in your cold bed, getting ready to pretend you didn't love him for yet another day.

_"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are the reason we won that battle. You were my reason to return. You, only you. Even if I can never have you, know that I will never stop loving you. You are mine, and I am yours, until the day I die."_


End file.
